Directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic
Year: 2023
Languages: English, Italian (I guess?)
Shaun’s Score: 1.9/5 ★
Before Watching:
One month ago, Vox (the Marianne Williamson of publications) wrote the following cutline about The Super Mario Bros. Movie:
“It isn’t groundbreaking cinema, but it is extremely kid-friendly.”
Notwithstanding that this is technically the bare minimum for a children’s movie,1 I must admit that I actually agree with them. I—like many 90s babies—counted Mario and crew as close friends growing up, and was excited to see an on-screen adaptation of such a beloved franchise. The film itself is, well, fine (even after Chris Pratt put in negative effort to do a Mario voice), but it triumphs in doing what Universal does best: putting asses in theater seats. Much like Top Gun: Maverick, Mario capitalizes on nostalgia, cliché, and golden-age cinematic tricks to make the audience happy, and keep families coming back.
Mario (Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) are struggling Brooklyn-based brothers, trying to get a plumbing business off the ground while their Italian-immigrant family criticizes their entrepreneurial pipedream. Ah, we love a depiction of the classic first-generation American self-actualization dilemma (eat your heart out, The Farewell). Somehow—in a way that’s, I’m serious, not at all explained—the plumbers get sucked into an alternate dimension, where they commence the storyline that we all know and love. Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) and her mushroom kingdom (featuring Keegan-Michael Key as Toad) are being threatened by the imperial forces of Bowser (a fantastic Jack Black) and the Koopas, leading Mario and Luigi to tap in for the fight. The cast is positively stacked with Nintendo-bankrolled stars2 clamoring for Super Stars, down to Seth Rogan and Fred Armisen. With friends like these, who needs a true-to-source Mario accent?
Unfortunately, The Super Mario Bros. Movie misses the key brilliance of the video games—their unlabored delivery. Super Smash Bros. and Mario Kart never wasted energy on one-liners or attitude, but Pratt’s mustachioed man is oilier and saucier than a cheap a-pizza pie. He’s snide and beholden to quick quips, and he’s not alone; the whole film’s dialogue and plot feel ripped from Marvel Phase IV, doused in thin multiverse constructs and packed to the brim with as many gags and geeky inside references as possible. Mario could have easily been Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Mushrooms.
Still, as previously admitted, Mario Bros. is very cute, and great fun for children. What’s more, the visuals are a testament to how much animation has progressed in the past few decades—it’s beautiful, and detailed enough to perfectly capture the mushroomy world we all love. I just wish that whatever hackneyed script writers Hollywood keeps hiring to write blockbusters would take a look in the mirror and admit: “it’s a-me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s a-me.”
The Super Mario Bros. Movie premiered in the United States last month, and is currently the highest-grossing film of 2023. It’s now screening in theaters worldwide.
After Watching:
The film’s obsession with fan service pushes everything too far in the direction of “including this detail doesn’t make any sense with the story, but Mamma Mia, we need to make a-more money!” Why Peach needs to waste so much time with Mario at the obstacle course, why they need to hop on karts, why the inter-universal pipes just happen to show up? No real reason, fans just want to see references to stuff they know. Problems are solved quickly and easily (to be fair, like in a video game), leaving enough space for the laziest Hero’s Journey3 achievable in 92 minutes.
It’s also worth noting that this film was a second attempt—I had the privilege of not being born yet when 1993’s Super Mario Brothers first screened. Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic used the next thirty years to fix Buena Vista Pictures’ mistakes, with many improvements visible here: robust and clever soundtrack orchestration, accurate depictions of game elements like power-up boxes, adorable characters, etc. Sometimes, success is about timing technology right, and 2023’s Mario was certainly saved by the shell.
Ultimately, the film is super smashed by two unfortunate trends of popular cinema:
The reliance on recycled intellectual content.
The rise of short-form comedy.
A plurality of the past five years’ most successful releases have been remakes, sequels, or adaptations, and even more have fallen into the trap of Deadpool-esque dialogue constructed à la one-liner. Jokes are quick and cheap, cliché needle-drops are frequent, and plots are padded with call-back references for the attentive super fan. I had hoped that we would be beyond this phase by now, but I guess it ain’t over until the Pratt lady sings.
And withstanding that, what a low bar—“This isn’t exactly gourmet, but it is extremely edible.”
As a fun side note, Charles Martinet (the original voice actor for Mario and Luigi in the Nintendo games) plays their father, Giuseppe.
Mario literally reaches his low point in the belly of a whale.